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Every once in a while a movie comes along that captures a cultural moment. And, sometimes, that same movie can also offer insights into subcultures long forgotten. And, with a backward glance, the moving images and sounds seem to act as a unified predictor. A film like this becomes a touchstone to our past. A link from our current to a past that often feels foreign and alien. This is one such movie…

"This is as far as the elevator goes." Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982

“This is as far as the elevator goes.”
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982

It was in August of 1982 that Slava Tsukerman’s notorious cult film, Liquid Sky, debuted at Montreal World Film Festival. Heads were turned, jaws dropped and the festival awarded the Special Jury Prize to the director. The film went on to receive several other key Art Film Festival awards. Sadly the movie received a minimal theatrical release. In the US it did manage to strike a chord and secure a following via its VHS release. Liquid Sky has become an essential Cult Film. The fact that it continues to be challenging to track down and watch have only added to its allure within the Cult Film Cannon.

This is not your average low-budget movie. The filmmaker, his wife and his cinematographer were fresh from The Soviet Union. They had managed to find a way to New York City to make a movie. It wasn’t long before they were collaborating with a performance artist who seemed to be on the fast track to stardom within the underworld of the Post-Punk/New Wave club scene. This history of the film’s 28 day production story can be found across the span of The Internet. The key here is understanding that this Russian filmmaker captured a moment both fantastic and scary. He may not have had a big budget, but he most certainly had a big cinematic vision filled with ideas and aspirations.

Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

There are a couple of crucial elements which blast the viewer within the first three minutes of Liquid Sky:

  1. A human face framed within a sphere of neon light that reveals itself to be a mask of sorts.
  2. The music sounds vintage early ’80’s, but is just slightly off-key and deeply odd — even a bit altogether off.
  3. The Twin Towers / Empire State Building skyline (the lower midtown perspective?) is not only familiar — it is iconic. And yet, there is a myst of fog that seems sort of wrong.
  4. A flying saucer hovers toward the screen.
  5. Unhappy people in a darkly grim club jerk and dance about. The beats indicate fun, the melody warns danger and the people look more focused than happy.

Welcome to Slava Tsukerman’s Liquid Sky. This cult film is respected for a number of reasons, but perhaps the most important and immediate is the use of electronic music. The often discordantly familiar mixed with unique samplings of dialogue and other bits of music make it completely unique. We are hearing one of the earliest uses of the first true digital sampler keyboards and it is scoring the entire movie. These are the sounds of the Fairlight CMI Series 1 that pulsate out from the screen. The music manages to be at once primitive and complex. It is sinister, but with the slightest twinge of pop happy beats.This very well might be the first example of ElectroClash. The Fairlight CMI Series 1 was not actually new, but not many musicians owned them and even fewer knew how to play/use the digital sampling keyboard.

Stephen Paine demonstrated and sold The Fairlight CMI Series One to both Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel on the same day. EMI, London, 1978

Stephen Paine demonstrated and sold The Fairlight CMI Series One to both Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel on the same day.
EMI, London, 1978

Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush were among the first few musicians to actually purchase and pursue the use of the instrument. The Fairlight CMI gave life to Peter Gabriel’s 1980 album and his 1982 Deutsches Album. It played an even stronger role in giving Kate Bush’s sonic visions live for both Never for Ever and The Dreaming albums. And in fact it is easy to state that the sounds and looks of Liquid Sky have served as influence for a number of creative artists.

When actress, Paula E. Sheppard, takes the club’s darkly lit stage — she is straddling a cumbersome sort of electronic box. It might appear that her mic is broadcasting the inner workings of her chest, but her heartbeat has been sampled. It pulsates from her electronic box. As she lifts that microphone up towards her vexingly beautiful and malicious face she begins an odd bit of what I would call “Slam Poetry.” She seems to threaten her club audience with her words. While the verses to “Me and My Rhythm Box” might be pretentious — they are also oddly effective. In another actor and filmmakers’ hands this scene could have been painfully bad. But here, within the confines of Liquid Sky — this drone and wail of a song plays energetically and deeply weird. This is electronic music with a purpose. The cheesy happiness of 1980’s MTV is not present. Nor will you notice any of the ironic No-Wave disco-threat of Blondie. Slava Tsukerman and his synth composers — Brenda I. Hutchinson and Clive Smith — are in total and complete step with their filmmaker’s vision. Liquid Sky ‘s musical score is totally unique, worrying and unforgettable.

"Me and my rhythm box. Are you jealous, folks? My rhythm box is sweet. Never forgets a beat..." Paula E. Sheppard rocks the mic at The Pyramid Club, East Village NYC, c. 1981 Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Me and my rhythm box.
Are you jealous, folks?
My rhythm box is sweet.
Never forgets a beat…”
Paula E. Sheppard rocks the mic at The Pyramid Club, East Village NYC, c. 1981
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

I suppose some might disagree, but it isn’t a far leap to realize that what we are seeing and hearing would go on to influence artists lucky enough to secure a copy of Media Home Entertainment‘s highly prized VHS tape. You should not jump to judge my assertion until you have seen this movie and compared it to early sounds/looks of artists like Fischerspoon, Miss Kittin & The Hacker as well as pop-sensation Lady Gaga.

Liquid Sky Influencing Electroclash "Hi Huh-I Hyper Hyper-media-ocrity You don't need to Emerge from nothing You don't need to tear away! Feels good Looks good Sounds good Looks good Feels good too..." Fischerspooner, Emerge, 2001

Liquid Sky Influencing Electroclash
“Hi Huh-I Hyper
Hyper-media-ocrity
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need to tear away! Feels good
Looks good Sounds good Looks good Feels good too…”
Fischerspooner, Emerge, 2001

Paula E. Sheppard’s Adrian is performing not on a set, but in a very real Post-Punk/New Wave NYC Underground club. The Pyramid was where Tsukerman filmed all of the movie’s club scenes. This club is legendary and has served as home to a number of NYC subcultures for decades. The lower East Village hole-in-the-wall could tell us an unlimited number of stories. At one time a home to NYC PUNKS then to their Post-PUNK / New Wave offspring and on toward to both the American Hardcore and GLBTI NYC communities.

By 2006 Pyramid Club presents PUNK by way of nostalgia... No wave here. The Radicts and The Bruisers Pyramid Club advert, 2006

By 2006 Pyramid Club presents PUNK by way of nostalgia… No wave here.
The Radicts and The Bruisers
Pyramid Club advert, 2006

Adrian’s musical performance and jaded delivery hold up to the likes of Miss Kittin and The Hacker. While she may not have the ability to fully utilize her rhythm box as well as Miss Kittin or Fischerspooner — both owe this film a nod for their sounds that would lead us into the ElectroClash sound of the early ’00’s. And it makes sense. Adrian is attempting to thrive within the dystopia of post-70’s NYC. This is Ed Koch’s nightmare of a city. As grim as it was — it did provide some surprisingly cheap housing options and opportunities.

Liquid Sky inspires... "Every night with my star friends. We eat caviar and drink champagne. Sniffing in the VIP area we talk about Frank Sinatra. Do you know Frank Sinatra? He's dead..." Miss Kittin & Hacker The First Album, 2001

Liquid Sky inspires…
“Every night with my star friends. We eat caviar and drink champagne. Sniffing in the VIP area we talk about Frank Sinatra.
Do you know Frank Sinatra? He’s dead…”
Miss Kittin & Hacker
The First Album, 2001

It was not off the Manhattan grid, but it was not an area that most would have cared to have roamed after sunset. The club offered risk of danger and lent an edge to an evening of clubbing before the fall of the Berlin Wall and during the cruel leadership of Ronald Reagan. As Debbie Harry sang on her 1989 album:

“Darkness falls like a black leather jacket and melts into the sidewalk like a sleeping drunk. In the streets, the wind throws yesterday’s headlines around.
Another night comes and goes. So, for awhile back then there was someplace to go.
Somewhere more home than a house. A family of choice, not an accident, but sometimes as soon as something gets started it’s over.

Now the days are much shorter and the people from the good part of town all come around, but the something is missing even though there’s more there now.
I shrug off my attempts to explain how a torn T-shirt made it all danger again…” Debbie Harry, End of the Run, 1989

The Ultimate Queen of NYC PUNK / Post-PUNK / New Wave Debbie Harry Photograph | Arthur Elgort, 1989

The Ultimate Queen of NYC PUNK / Post-PUNK / New Wave
Debbie Harry
Photograph | Arthur Elgort, 1989

Now Ms. Harry would have been referring to CBGB‘s or MUDD Club, but it is important to note that Pyramid Club might not have been on the radar of the darlings of the NYC PUNK / POST-PUNK or New Wave of 1981 — but in perhaps an even more important way — Pyramid Club was home to the many clubbers who couldn’t quite make it to the big rooms of those more anti-popular clubs. And it was within Pyramid‘s walls that some very real shit went down.

No. This is not Lady Gaga, but the looks / sounds may have inspired her. Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

No. This is not Lady Gaga, but the looks / sounds may have inspired her.
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

It is likely that Blondie’s lead singer walked through Pyramid doors at some point. Most certainly it is likely that Madonna ventured there. Liquid Sky features Otto von Wernherr in the role of the German astrophysicist who is the only person aware of an alien presence that has invaded the home of the film’s two main characters. Wernherr was a musician / actor / artist and fixture of the late 70’s / early 80’s NYC Downtown Scene and an early Madonna collaborator. That collaboration was already happening as Liquid Sky was filmed.

The more famous attempt to capture the NYC underground Post-Punk/New Wave movement is actually less revealing than what is found in Liquid Sky... Debbie Harry & Jean-Michel Basquiat Downtown 81 / New York Beat Movie Edo Bertoglio, 1981/2000 Cinematography | John McNulty

The more famous attempt to capture the NYC underground Post-Punk/New Wave movement is actually less revealing than what is found in Liquid Sky
Debbie Harry & Jean-Michel Basquiat
Downtown 81 / New York Beat Movie
Edo Bertoglio, 1981/2000
Cinematography | John McNulty

If Liquid Sky‘s Adrian character is the symbol of artist, then the character of Margaret is more closely tied to the artist who yearns for success and validation that is almost impossible to secure. We know immediately that Anne Carlisle’s Margaret is a model. She is also Adrian‘s promiscuous lover and flatmate. As Adrian performs with her rhythm box, Margaret is backstage prepping for a fashion show. A show that will be taking place in the club. The other models seem only to be in background of Margaret‘s beauty. The only model who challenges her is an effeminate gay man, Jimmy.

"Are you going to come to my roof tomorrow night?" Anne Carlisle x 2 Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Are you going to come to my roof tomorrow night?”
Anne Carlisle x 2
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

At first glance he seems to be Margaret‘s doppelgänger. The then up and coming performance artist, Anne Carlisle, is playing both Margaret and Jimmy. To Slava Tsukerman’s credit, the dual roles are only obvious when the film wants it to be. Tightly and cleverly edited, Margaret and Jimmy are two very different characters. Margaret and Jimmys’ fashion show takes place within minutes of the film’s beginning.

Striking a pose... Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Striking a pose…
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

This fashion sequence serves as not only a set-up for the film’s oddly complex world, it also pulls us into the era in which the film was made. While these models look like what we might associate with the very early 1980’s — it is important to note that these “looks” were ahead of the cultural curve in 1981. When I first saw this movie in 1983, these models/actors looked absolutely other-worldly. Their painted faces, geometric clothing and posing were all new to my eyes. While they might have shared some similarity with Adam Ant, Missing Persons, Bow Wow Wow, Boy George and Flock of Seagulls — the people on the screen offer no semblance of charity or fun. This clique is hard-edged and seemed almost intent on menace.

"Something strange is going on here." Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Something strange is going on here.”
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

These hipsters want your attention, but they are not willing to beg for it. Just the opposite, these models and their respective looks are daring us not to give them our attention. The colors may be bright neon and they might be covered with make-up, but these danger boys and girls are out for blood. This is not just a fashion show — it is almost a declaration of war.

Dare you not to look and love me... Benjamin Liu Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Dare you not to look and love me…
Benjamin Liu
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Also within minutes of the film’s start we figure out that there is a lot more going down than performance, fashion and clubbing. Adrian is an established heroin dealer. That human face mask hangs in she and Margaret‘s penthouse apartment. This work of art offers dual meaning. It is the same face shared by both Margaret and Jimmy. It is also not a mask — it is the holding/hiding place for Adrian‘s supply of heroin. A supply that she sells to everyone from uptown artsy folks but to everyone within her orbit. Margaret might be the only person in Adrian‘s world who has no interest in the power of her powdered sky just waiting to be heated into milk for injection.

So here we have a film that is about clubbing, strutting and drugs. Where does the Sci-Fi element come in?

"Are you sure this has something to do with UFO's?" Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Are you sure this has something to do with UFO’s?”
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

No one can ever accuse Slava Tsukerman of constructing a slow-moving film. We witness the arrival of invaders from space within minutes of the movie’s beginning. Liquid Sky‘s construction is tight and unusual. Things happen simultaneously. They also happen with minimal explanation or character development. In most cases this approach would stunt a film, but it is one of Liquid Sky‘s magical elements. I should note that I first saw this film when I was 16 years of age. This might seem a great trip movie, but it is not. As trippy as the film is it is not conducive to positive altered state viewing. The paranoia, cruelty and perversities work against the fun aspect of a stoned age viewing. It is most likely due to my state at the time I first saw Liquid Sky that I did not understand the invasion from space plot twister.

"In the beginning Aliens were spotted in places with large amounts of heroin. Later Aliens appeared in specific subcultures -- punk circles. Still around heroin, but in these circles even more. Strange deaths have occurred..." Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“In the beginning Aliens were spotted in places with large amounts of heroin. Later Aliens appeared in specific subcultures — punk circles. Still around heroin, but in these circles even more. Strange deaths have occurred…”
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

We see the alien flying saucer arrive at nearly the same time we meet Adrian, Margaret and Jimmy. We also are given the alien’s perspective as it approaches the rooftop of Adrian and Margarets’ penthouse apartment. Most cleverly we are also given a view of the alien itself. The alien and its space ship interior. Both perspectives are truly psychedelic. But how does the introduction of alien invasion, surveillance, fashion, music, drug use/abuse and sexuality anchor Liquid Sky to the subcultures within which the film is placed?

"Where are the drugs?" Paula E. Sheppard Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Where are the drugs?”
Paula E. Sheppard
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Most likely it was never Tsukerman’s intention to create a film that we can now view as a sort of chronicle of the NYC Post-Punk/New Wave subculture. And it is most certainly sure that he never intended the movie to serve as a signal predicting the horrors of the AIDS epidemic. Wether intentional or not, there should be no denying the film’s ability to do both things. Liquid Sky is a low-budget film with big budget aspirations. It is essentially a science fiction horror movie, but its genre goals are almost buried beneath a polarizing depiction of the New York City Underground Club scene of 1981. It is a depiction that stings and slips under the viewer’s skin.

"Jimmy is the new Miss. America! he has all the mannerisms of a sex symbol." Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Jimmy is the new Miss. America! he has all the mannerisms of a sex symbol.”
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

At first, in 1981, it seemed that a disease was being caught / spread by members of the gay community. It was quickly becoming an outbreak. Initially the sicknesses was coined as The 4H Disease as the syndromes seemed to be inflicting homosexual men, heroin users, hemophiliacs and Haitians. Despite some obvious signs, that initial name did not catch on as well as GRID (Gay-Related Immune Deficiency) It wasn’t long before the CDS realized this was not an illness restricted to any one segment of the population. Certainly those living in cities like New York were realizing this long before the tragic epidemic was assigned the name AIDS in July of 1982. But in 1981 the young people populating the New York City Underground had not yet fully grasped the meaning of what was beginning to strike their respective communities. Paranoia and fear were already running rampant for a number of socio-political reasons. Liquid Sky captures an artistic world caught in the magic and the horror of the era.

"Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual. Whether or not I like someone doesn't depend on the kind of genitalia they have. As long as I find someone attractive. Don't you think? Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual. Whether or not I like someone doesn’t depend on the kind of genitalia they have. As long as I find someone attractive. Don’t you think?
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

The world of Liquid Sky takes place in the rag-tag world of the Artist as Outsider. More specifically, the world of Tsukerman’s film is concerned with outsiders and misfits. As in reality, the world of the arts is populated with youth, creativity and sexual experimentation. Sexuality is either fluid or leaning toward homosexuality. The Post-PUNK/New Wave NYC subculture is tightly connected to the pulse of the NYC Gay subculture. And both are freely connected to sex, drugs, music and art. Liquid Sky has a morality, but it is based in humanism rather than in the political.

Early on we watch Margaret attempt to seduce her male counterpart, Jimmy. It is here we are granted a cruel view of misogyny. It isn’t that Jimmy is just turned off by the idea of fucking a woman  — he makes it fairly clear that he detests women across the board. He treats Margaret as if she were nothing more than a link to drugs. Margaret has a tough shell, but something about Jimmy‘s cruelty eggs her on toward him. This seems to be a girl who is not used to being turned down. Despite his cruelty she is unwilling to write the mean queen off.

The only character who seems concerned with any other’s sexual preference is Adrian‘s uptown client. A failing artist who seems to have once clung to the idea that heroin will spark his artistic vision is now just uncomfortably numb. He finds Margaret’s androgynous beauty alluring, but he is far too concerned regarding her sexual preference. To Margaret and Adrian this junkie is normal and dull.

"What kind of drugs will you have?" Anne Carlisle Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“What kind of drugs will you have?”
Anne Carlisle
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Adrian clearly identifies as lesbian and seems to be disgusted by Margaret‘s promiscuity. And like Margaret she too has dreams of fame and success. Both women are damaged, but while Margaret has soaked up her sadness — Adrian funnels an insane level of sadness and rage into her work. Theirs is a dysfunctional relationship beyond reason, but they seem to cling to each other. Sex is merely fun and a tool. All of these characters trade in sex and shared works. Adrian is repulsed by the idea of her client wanting to have sex with Margaret but is totally cool with sharing her spoon, syringe and rubber band. Margaret attempts to procure cocaine by snuggling up to straight dude at the club. In the end she is brutally raped. She seems to accept this act of cruelty as a dark part of her life with which she must deal. She also seems totally committed to being mistreated by her girlfriend.

"I am a stranger in this country. How can I see what they do on private property?" Otto von Wernherr Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“I am a stranger in this country. How can I see what they do on private property?”
Otto von Wernherr
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Both Anne Carlisle and Paula E. Sheppard are highly effective in their respective roles. We may not know these two characters but they feel genuine. The same is true for much of the cast. Otto Von Wernherr would never win an award for acting, but he is believable as the befuddled West German scientist trying to understand what these space aliens are doing in this circle of artists. At first he suspects the aliens are only interested in the heroin which shoots so freely among these characters, but soon it is revealed that these invaders are even more interested in the chemical reaction that orgasm creates within the brains of these humans. The interesting trick of the film is that while the film is never formerly concerned with character development, it fully utilizes the skills and charisma of the actors.

"For me it's easy. Hell to Hell. I'm not dancing in marijuana jungles. I live in concrete mazes. Stone and glass hard like my heart. Sharp and clean. No romantic illusions for changing  the world. I don't lie to myself that love can cure because I know I'm alone. And you fought that every day. You lied. You lied. You go to hell. Suits you well."  The nihilism of the slam poet runs deep. Paula E. Sheppard Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“For me it’s easy. Hell to Hell. I’m not dancing in marijuana jungles. I live in concrete mazes. Stone and glass hard like my heart. Sharp and clean. No romantic illusions for changing the world. I don’t lie to myself that love can cure because I know I’m alone. And you fought that every day. You lied. You lied. You go to hell. Suits you well.”
The nihilism of the slam poet runs deep.
Paula E. Sheppard
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Sex has become an empty act. It no longer means anything to Margaret. So when the people who force their way with her sexually begin to die at the instant of orgasm she has little to no concern for the deaths. She is more curious than concerned. When an older artist brushes aside her need for conversation, she barely puts forward an argument as he rapes her. Thing take on a perverse edge when Adrian walks in do discover the nude male body. She slips into a sort of trance and begins a grim sort of rap to the beat of her fist on her thigh. When she reveals her deepest sexual fantasy is to have sex with a dead man, Margaret is repulsed. However it takes a good deal of necrophiliatic  attempt before she tries to stop Adrian.

All the more upsetting when we realize that Margaret mistakes the aliens murdering her sexual partners to be a sign of power. For the first time in her life she thinks she is found her awakening. Her sex is no longer something to be traded or abused. Alien intervention has allowed her sex to become a threat. A threat she is more than happy to put to work.

"How many of you want to see me fuck Margaret and not die?" Paula E. Sheppard & Anne Carlisle push past the R-rating of the day... Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“How many of you want to see me fuck Margaret and not die?”
Paula E. Sheppard & Anne Carlisle push past the R-rating of the day…
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

The characters of Liquid Sky are sick, twisted and sad. And yet we feel compelled to watch. This is not the sort of interest one experiences while watching a John Waters movie. Despite a few goofs and a low-budget, Liquid Sky is an interesting film. Once the movie begins, the viewer is going to be in for the long haul. The alien aspect of the film is largely secondary. We are concerned with the people. Margaret‘s misguided interpretation of the strange events that have started to happen all around her lead her down a very dark alley of self-examination.

And it doesn’t take deep thinking to discover that Slava Tsukerman’s film serves most effectively as horrific predictor of the AIDS epidemic.

"I was taught that to be an actress one should be fashionable. And to be fashionable is to be androgynous. And I am androgynous not less than David Bowie himself. And they call me beautiful. And I kill with my cult. Isn't it fashionable?" Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“I was taught that to be an actress one should be fashionable. And to be fashionable is to be androgynous. And I am androgynous not less than David Bowie himself. And they call me beautiful. And I kill with my cult. Isn’t it fashionable?”
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Liquid Sky is not a movie for the squeamish, but neither is it actually an example of “shock cinema.” Much of what we think we see is never really shown. And what is shown is potent. This is a horror film, but it is less a horror film about alien invasion than it is a horror film about human nature. Before everything goes inside out and upside down, Margaret is offered the chance to be interviewed for a cool underground fashion magazine. The reporter who would appear to be totally linked in with the whole gang takes a cruel turn when she interviews the would-be model. The aggressive reporter informs Margaret that her style of dress, make-up and living are tacky. Even though she is able to put the reporter in her place, her privilege is not granted or acknowledged. Margaret dares to be different, but ultimately she only finds power in what she thinks is her ability to kill.

"You wanted to know whom and what I am? I'm a killer." Anne Carlisle Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“You wanted to know whom and what I am? I’m a killer.”
Anne Carlisle
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

Liquid Sky finds a surprising, clever and fitting conclusion. But the film’s resolution is not so easy that it makes the viewer comfortable. As low-fi as it sometimes is, Liquid Sky disturbs. It also entertains, informs and inspires. Going on 35 years, it continues to enlarge its following. Over the last couple of years there have been screenings held at BAM, MOMA and other venues. Slava Tsukerman and Anne Carlisle have always made themselves available to discuss the film, their work and their hope to find funding to restore and preserve Liquid Sky‘s original negative print.

It is decaying. Literally.

"This subculture is not like 'The Mods' or 'The Rockers.' The punks don't need help from the outside to kill themselves..." Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“This subculture is not like ‘The Mods’ or ‘The Rockers.’ The punks don’t need help from the outside to kill themselves…”
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

The VHS tape still fetches a good price on the market. Several DVD’s are floating around, but the quality is not good. Unlike most film art, Liquid Sky has actually managed to become more controversial with time. It also has the rare distinction of having aged like fine wine. This movie is more interesting every time I see it.

Despite the film’s strong following and the fact that it continues to inspire new generations of audience, there have been no takers to restore, preserve and redistribute. When the 1970’s slasher film, Alice Sweet Alice, began receiving some delayed glory there was hope that it might help Liquid Sky find a new life. After all  Alice herself is one of the key stars of this movie and Paula E. Sheppard has a cult following of her own.

A strange little girl. Before she slammed with her rhythm box she was "Alice." ...And she was scarier than the mask. Paula E. Sheppard Alice Sweet Alice Alfred Sole, 1978 Cinematography | Chuck Hall

A strange little girl. Before she slammed with her rhythm box she was “Alice.” …And she was scarier than the mask.
Paula E. Sheppard
Alice Sweet Alice
Alfred Sole, 1978
Cinematography | Chuck Hall

However she has always run from attention and rumor is that she found the experience of Liquid Sky negative. And sadly, Alfred Sole’s under rated horror film is still more famous for featuring a young Brooke Shields than it is for being an interesting and unusual genre film.

Liquid Sky continues to flow... "I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong. To crash the critics saying, "is it right or is it wrong?" If only fame had an IV, baby could I bear Being away from you, I found the vein, put it in here..." Lady Gaga Applause, 2013

Liquid Sky continues to flow…
“I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong. To crash the critics saying, “is it right or is it wrong?”
If only fame had an IV, baby could I bear
Being away from you, I found the vein, put it in here…”
Lady Gaga
Applause, 2013

Even still, there is always hope. Tsukerman and Carlisle have even scripted a sequel that is ready to roll. No matter what the future holds for Liquid Sky, it is a movie that deserves attention. Seek it out if you dare.

Matty Stanfield, 1.31.2016

"Killing all the teachers..." Rebellion, Fashion, A Warning, Electroclash and a bit of history all in one VHS tape... Liquid Sky Slava Tsukerman, 1982 Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

“Killing all the teachers…”
Rebellion, Fashion, A Warning, Electroclash and a bit of history all in one VHS tape…
Liquid Sky
Slava Tsukerman, 1982
Cinematography | Yuri Neyman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

from 2015 Slant Magazine piece by MARC SPITZ

“A glowing spaceship appears over the New York City skyline as dissonant New Wave music fills the multiple ears with their dangling rings. Junkies, models, poseurs and performance artists feed off each other in a battle to be the most fierce, all the while unaware that tiny aliens are harnessing their ecstasy. Most visitors to New York go to Serendipity for a frozen hot chocolate — these buggers are literally fueling their space ship with the power of the human orgasm, which turns the screen electric blue and red and green and purple.

“Liquid Sky” is set in New York City in the few years between disco and AIDS when young denizens indulged in exhibitionistic sex and hard drugs and took their fashion cues from the gleefully androgynous English New Romantic movement (big hair, frills, ruffles, theatrical make up). They danced like rusty robots in neon lit nightclubs. Within this odd demimonde Margaret (Anne Carlisle) lives and works as a successful model. She has the perfect life, with one exception: she kills everyone she has sex with, whether that sex is loving, non-consensual or even with her male doppelganger “Jimmy” (also played by Anne Carlisle, then a face at the Mudd Club, a key hangout of the period). Margaret is high maintenance (“You know this bitch takes two hours to go get ready to go anywhere,” says girlfriend Adrian, who nearly steals the film with her performance of “Me and My Rhythm Box”).

Shot in Ed Koch’s crumbling New York on a tiny budget, “Liquid Sky”’s now highly-influential look, which has informed the costumes of everyone from Karen O to Lady Gaga and Sia, came largely from Carlisle’s closet or thrift shop shopping bags. Carlisle, director Slava Tsukerman and co-producer Nina Kerova created a new kind of glamor queen who, Bowie-like, quite easily stokes the desire of the men and women — before leaving a crystal spike in the back of their brain. “I kill people that fuck me,” the character confesses. Is it worth it? Almost. Is it almost ghoulishly predictive? Absolutely. This was 1982.

“They already had AIDS, but it wasn’t that publicized,” says Tsukerman, who swears the film was conceived as science fiction. Tsukerman, who traveled from Moscow to Hollywood and then found himself in Carlisle’s fast-fashion world, where it seemed that everyone was a dancer, painter, band member, filmmaker or actor, adds, “The information about AIDS came after Liquid Sky.”

Carlisle was equally aghast when her real life friends began dying of this new sexually transmitted disease. “It was so amazing, because the film is really about dying from sex and then everyone started dropping. It was really, really eerie. That happens sometimes in creative life. You do something and it’s an accident that it actually comes true. It’s mystical.”

The two were already well established in the world of downtown film before “Liquid Sky” was co-conceived. Tsukerman had a film called “Sweeet Sixteen” which was nearly financed. “It was about a girl who was killed in a car accident in 1935 and her father, a crazy scientist, saves her head and makes a mechanical body,” he says. Andy Warhol was supposedly committed make an appearance. Carlisle had a film called “The Fish” which she was showing around the clubs. When the pair met, it was clear that Tsukerman found his muse — but he had reservations, once “Liquid Sky” began pre-production, that Carlisle, primarily a painter, model and self described “nihilist” who attended the School of Visual Arts, could handle the role of both Margaret and Jimmy, even though, as she recalls, “I had a boy’s haircut and a mini skirt. No one else was doing that.” Carlisle convinced him one day. “We were scouting locations and I dressed as a man and I picked up a girl in front of him and that was my audition,” she says. “She thought I was a boy. I admitted I was a girl and she said she was still into it.”

“Liquid Sky” has a pre-apocalyptic feel of the Cold War sci-fi with the slickness of much more expensive films like its contemporary “Blade Runner,” but the budget (about a half-million) nearly sparked a mutiny. “The crew was paid very little and they did revolt at one point over the food,” Carlisle says. “They were worked day and night. We worked terrible hours. That the film got made at all was a miracle. It was really — at one point, I was arguing with them, we’re making art here and you’re worried about food. And he said you’re making art here. We want pizza!”

The cool folks over at We Are Cult posted my piece on Barbra Streisand’s A Star Is Born here

A Star Is Born Frank Pierson / Barbra Streisand, 1976

A Star Is Born
Frank Pierson / Barbra Streisand, 1976

 

Kristofferson / Streisand  A Star Is Born  Francesco Scavullo, 1976

Kristofferson / Streisand
A Star Is Born
Francesco Scavullo, 1976

 

Kristofferson / Streisand A Star Is Born Francesco Scavullo, 1976

Kristofferson / Streisand
A Star Is Born
Francesco Scavullo, 1976

 

Getting lost in pop rock of 1970's Kristofferson / Streisand A Star Is Born Francesco Scavullo, 1976

Getting lost in pop rock of 1970’s
Kristofferson / Streisand
A Star Is Born
Francesco Scavullo, 1976

 

Ageless and evergreen... A Star Is Born Original Soundtrack, 1976

Ageless and evergreen…
A Star Is Born
Original Soundtrack, 1976

 

For more information related to the new and awesome website devoted to Cult Arts or to understand what Cult is — check out We Are Cult Rocks! Here

 

 

"Contains the hit single, 'Miss You!'" A magic moment when the wrapping matched the content. The Rolling Stones Some Girls, 1978

“Contains the hit single, ‘Miss You!'”
A magic moment when the wrapping matched the content.
The Rolling Stones
Some Girls, 1978

I recently found myself flipping through used vinyl at a store near the Berkeley campus. It was like slipping back into my pre-teen years when I would become enraptured by the look of an album cover. My parents owned more than a few of them. However there was a leaning toward 8-Track Tapes in my childhood. As soon as I was old enough to scrape some money together I would purchase some of these albums. Often these long playing records promised more on their covers than was delivered. But sometimes the music would not only match — it would be even better than the cover revealed.

What follows are the covers that I recall most vividly from my childhood. There is no particular order and no thought of content. This is a visual list of Art Design / Photography interlaced with promotion and art. Many are iconic — others not so much.

Sexy, funky and fierce... Betty Davis Betty Davis, 1973

Sexy, funky and fierce…
Betty Davis
Betty Davis, 1973

 

Go ahead, wander into the wonder of Village Ghetto Land... Stevie Wonder Songs in the Key of Life, 1976

Go ahead, wander into the wonder of Village Ghetto Land…
Stevie Wonder
Songs in the Key of Life, 1976

 

The ultimate in cool... The Who Who's Next, 1971

The ultimate in cool…
The Who
Who’s Next, 1971

 

"Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest. And when Daddy comes home he never gets no rest. 'Cause she's playing all night..." The Who by numbers, 1975

“Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest. And when Daddy comes home he never gets no rest.
‘Cause she’s playing all night…”
The Who
by numbers, 1975

 

Speaking of The Who... TOMMY Original Movie Soundtrack, 1975

Speaking of The Who…
TOMMY
Original Movie Soundtrack, 1975

 

The Holy Mother of the Soundtrack Album... Saturday Night Fever 1975

The Holy Mother of the Soundtrack Album…
Saturday Night Fever
1977

 

Another soundtrack with which I was obsessed. And a really cool / iconic photography by Scavullo Streisand / Kristofferson A Star Is Born, 1976

Another soundtrack with which I was obsessed. And a really cool / iconic photography by Scavullo
Streisand / Kristofferson
A Star Is Born, 1976

 

Uh, oh! Is that Mick or Little Joe Dallesandro hiding behind the zipper? The Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers, 1971

Uh, oh! Is that Mick or Little Joe Dallesandro hiding behind the zipper?
The Rolling Stones
Sticky Fingers, 1971

 

"We're gonna come around at twelve with some Puerto Rican girls just dying' to meet you..." The Rolling Stones Some Girls, 1978

“We’re gonna come around at twelve
with some Puerto Rican girls just dying’ to meet you…”
The Rolling Stones
Some Girls, 1978

 

How many were inspired to learn the guitar after hearing this album? The art design is excellent. Led Zeppelin IV, 1971

How many were inspired to learn the guitar after hearing this album? The art design is excellent.
Led Zeppelin
IV, 1971

 

Amazing art direction / design and an album that continues to play throughout my life. Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti, 1975

Amazing art direction / design and an album that continues to play throughout my life.
Led Zeppelin
Physical Graffiti, 1975

 

An artistic venture chronically five artists' messy shared life became an essential album. "Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself, it's only me Who wants to wrap around your dreams and have you any dreams you'd like to sell?" Fleetwood Mac Rumours, 1977

An artistic venture chronically five artists’ messy shared life became an essential album.
“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself, it’s only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and have you any dreams you’d like to sell?”
Fleetwood Mac
Rumours, 1977

 

"Don't say that you love me..." Fleetwood Mac TUSK, 1979

“Don’t say that you love me…”
Fleetwood Mac
TUSK, 1979

 

Glam! Roxy Music Roxy Music, 1972

Glam!
Roxy Music
Roxy Music, 1972

 

A bit of a kick with your glam... T. Rex T. Rex, 1972

A bit of a kick with your glam…
T. Rex
The Slider, 1972

 

The contents don't quite match up, but this is an awesome cover! Mott The Hopple The Hopple, 1974

The contents don’t quite match up, but this is an awesome cover!
Mott The Hopple
The Hopple, 1974

 

Going all ambient on our ass... Brian Eno Another Green World, 1975

Going all ambient on our ass…
Brian Eno
Another Green World, 1975

 

Leon Russell Will O' The Wisp, 1975

Leon Russell
Will O’ The Wisp, 1975

 

Play that funky music white boy... Wild Cherry Wild Cherry, 1976

Play that funky music white boy…
Wild Cherry
Wild Cherry, 1976

 

Welcome to NYC Punk... The Ramones The Ramones, 1976

Welcome to NYC Punk…
The Ramones
The Ramones, 1976

 

NYC PUNK tries some tongue in cheek disco and goes mainstream... Blondie Parallel Lines, 1978

NYC PUNK tries some tongue in cheek disco and goes mainstream…
Blondie
Parallel Lines, 1978

 

NYC PUNK goes top ten seeing no evil... Television Marquee Moon, 1977

NYC PUNK goes top ten seeing no evil…
Television
Marquee Moon, 1977

 

Mapplethorpe captures the pristine moment of NYC PUNK gone deep within artistic rebellion... Patti Smith Horses, 1975

Mapplethorpe captures the pristine moment of NYC PUNK gone deep within artistic rebellion…
Patti Smith
Horses, 1975

 

Iconic, controversial and defiantly erotic... Patti Smith Group Easter, 1978

Iconic, controversial and defiantly erotic…
Patti Smith Group
Easter, 1978

 

"She's got electric boots a mohair suit You know I read it in a magazine..." Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, 1973

“She’s got electric boots a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine…”
Elton John
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, 1973

 

Does it get any cooler? David Bowie Aladdin Sane, 1973

Does it get any cooler?
David Bowie
Aladdin Sane, 1973

 

It might have only had one hit single, but who wouldn't want to take Cher home in her disco armor?!?! Cher Take Me Home, 1979

It might have only had one hit single, but who wouldn’t want to take Cher home in her disco armor?!?!
Cher
Take Me Home, 1979

 

Watch out! There's a ghost hiding inside the gate fold! Eagles Hotel California, 1976

Watch out! There’s a ghost hiding inside the gate fold!
Eagles
Hotel California, 1976

 

Make fun all you want, this is a cool album cover dedicated to the new age of 1970's Disco. Bee Gees Main Course, 1975

Make fun all you want, this is a cool album cover dedicated to the new age of 1970’s Disco.
Bee Gees
Main Course, 1975

 

So one could argue that 1970 was still the 1960's, but this album both rocked and scared me! Featuring a cover that haunts... Black Sabbath Black Sabbath, 1970

So one could argue that 1970 was still the 1960’s, but this album both rocked and scared me! Featuring a cover that haunts…
Black Sabbath
Black Sabbath, 1970

 

There might only be a couple of hits on each album, but Carly Simon gave some great record cover in the 1970's. Carly Simon Boys In The Trees, 1978

There might only be a couple of hits on each album, but Carly Simon gave some great record cover in the 1970’s.
Carly Simon
Boys In The Trees, 1978

 

Unexpected cool cover from Streisand. Great cover of Carole King's "Where You Lead" and a deeply painful cover of John Lennon's "Mother." But Ed Thrasher's photography is awesome. Barbra Streisand Barbra Joan Streisand, 1972

Unexpected cool cover from Streisand. Great cover of Carole King’s “Where You Lead” and a deeply painful cover of John Lennon’s “Mother.” But Ed Thrasher’s photography is awesome.
Barbra Streisand
Barbra Joan Streisand, 1972

 

A folk singer goes in a whole new direction... Joni Mitchell Hejira, 1976

A folk singer goes in a whole new direction…
Joni Mitchell
Hejira, 1976

 

Pop and funky fashions! ABBA Greatest Hits, 1975

Pop and funky fashions!
ABBA
Greatest Hits, 1975

 

This band hypnotized me and most of my elementary school friends. Plus a power ballad! KISS Destroyer, 1976

This band hypnotized me and most of my elementary school friends. Plus a power ballad!
KISS
Destroyer, 1976

 

I never really got into this album, but I loved the way it all looked! Alice Cooper From the Inside, 1978

I never really got into this album, but I loved the way it all looked!
Alice Cooper
From the Inside, 1978

 

One of those album covers that just sticks in your mind. ...As do many of its songs. Alice Cooper Welcome To My Nightmare, 1975

One of those album covers that just sticks in your mind. …As do many of its songs.
Alice Cooper
Welcome To My Nightmare, 1975

 

This cover is either really bad or really good. I'm not really sure, but I will never forget it. And they did rock us. Queen News of the World, 1977

This cover is either really bad or really good. I’m not really sure, but I will never forget it. And they did rock us.
Queen
News of the World, 1977

 

Awesome album cover! Lou Reed Coney Island Baby, 1976

Awesome album cover!
Lou Reed
Coney Island Baby, 1976

 

Mom and Dad, meet Joe Strummer... The Clash The Clash, 1977

Mom and Dad, meet Joe Strummer…
The Clash
The Clash, 1977

 

Yet another cool album cover from Strummer and friends... The Clash London Calling, 1979

Yet another cool album cover from Strummer and friends…
The Clash
London Calling, 1979

 

Impossibly cool album cover. The contents would later accompany on more than a few trips. ...so to speak. Michael Oldfield Tubular Bells, 1973

Impossibly cool album cover. The contents would later accompany on more than a few trips. …so to speak.
Michael Oldfield
Tubular Bells, 1973

 

A fantastic photograph to accompany her most polished effort. It arrived after she died. Iconic and essential. Janis Joplin Pearl, 1971

A fantastic photograph to accompany her most polished effort. It arrived after she died. Iconic and essential.
Janis Joplin
Pearl, 1971

 

Perfect. Pink Floyd Far Side of the Moon, 1973

Perfect.
Pink Floyd
Far Side of the Moon, 1973

 

Never has a discarded fashion shoot yielded such a classic album cover! David Bowie Pin Ups, 1973

Never has a discarded fashion shoot yielded such a classic album cover!
David Bowie
Pin Ups, 1973

 

Matty Stanfield, 6.8.16

 

People always ask me why I like such dark and often surreal movies. For me, these strange cinematic explorations into the darkest corners of the human mind act as a sort cathartic entertainment. But perhaps on a deeper level they hold an interest for me that allows me to feel a bit lucky compared to the characters and images struggling through crisis of reality, circumstance and identity.

Roaming through an old house, a gangster faces dangers of memories and lingering ghosts... Keyhole Guy Maddin, 2011 Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

Roaming through an old house, a gangster faces dangers of memories and lingering ghosts…
Keyhole
Guy Maddin, 2011
Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

Struggle. This is what I have been doing on a daily basis for the last several years. It is not so much that I need to learn the techniques to calming my subconscious, I know them. The challenge is putting them into action so that these exorcises actually become tools I can use. It seems like a simple thing to master, but the subconscious is an alternate world filled with illogical concerns and masterful ways to impede the conscious state from doing what it needs to do. Finding the pathway into the subconscious takes a great deal of work all with an eye toward not making it think that the conscious is out to defeat it. While the process seems to lend itself to the idea of Zen Yoga Meditation, it is a great deal more complex.

Studying more than mental illness or simple concepts of identity, Paddy Chayefsky's script was unfilmable, but Ken Russell speeded-up the dialogue. The sense of self, reality and identity are deconstructed to a whole new level. Altered States Ken Russell, 1980 Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

Studying more than mental illness or simple concepts of identity, Paddy Chayefsky’s script was unfilmable, but Ken Russell speeded-up the dialogue. The sense of self, reality and identity are deconstructed to a whole new level.
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980
Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

After three decades of a successful life, my subconscious coping skills began to fall apart. By the time I slammed into 42 years of age I was no longer successful. I was stumbling, falling and lost. Fast forward a couple of years and far too many doctors and tests later I found out with what I was dealing. I had known for some time that I was living with PTSD, but when two doctors and a therapist informed me I was actually living with a more extreme form of PTSD known as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder.)

I was God-smacked. It would take me a full year before I could actually believe this diagnosis to be true. And it has taken a couple more to fully acknowledge and own it.  In the last year I’ve become far better at turning technique into tool, but I am far from attaining Master – Level Use.

Sneaking a peak beyond the other side of a keyhole, "Ulysses Pick" sees far more than he can process. Keyhole Guy Maddin, 2011 Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

Sneaking a peak beyond the other side of a keyhole, “Ulysses Pick” sees far more than he can process.
Keyhole
Guy Maddin, 2011
Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

A life-long friend who I consider to be my sister is in The City for work. This is one of the dearest people in my world. There is no way I’m going to miss visiting and hanging with her. But challenges spring forward intent on preventing me from being out in public spaces. After the recent tragic terrorist attacks, my phobia of being in crowded spaces has morphed into full-blown clinical panic attacks. Suddenly driving downtown becomes as challenging for me as being told I must climb Mount Everest. But despite an unusual down pour and high winds, I was determined. I’m was also more than a little wary.

Groundbreaking and iconic, it is important to remember that this book and subsequent Sally Field TV Movie were "based" on a true story. Neither were "true."

Groundbreaking and iconic, it is important to remember that this book and subsequent Sally Field TV Movie were “based” on a true story. Neither were “true.”

There are a lot of exaggerations around what DID is. Pop Culture has presented an odd view point. Certainly we’ve come a long way since the 1970’s Sybil idea. A recent entertainment examination of the disorder, The United States of Tara, attempted to be more realistic. But even here DID was presented in a painfully extreme and comedic way. Very few people who have DID exhibit such behaviors as “switching” into an alternate personality complete with different voices and wardrobes. And for those few who deal with it at such a level, none could manage to function as a safe parent or a remotely dependable spouse. Even still, it presented the character in some realistic ways with the support of those most close to her.

I’ve never kept my PTSD a secret. I’ve written a good deal about it. Once I understood DID, I did not keep that a secret. I do not write a great deal about it because it is an on-going challenge I’ve yet to fully meet. But when it does come up I can see the discomfort in peoples’ faces.

For the record:  I do not have dueling identities. I do not have a secret wardrobe. I do not have a double life. I do not lie. I do not cheat. I am not a harm or threat for others or myself. In the past, when I did “switch” it was seldom if ever noticed by anyone. It quite simply is not that glamourous. In reality DID is tedious, defeating and a constant source of ever-growing self-defeating phobic tendencies that I’m constantly trying to beat.

No TV Show or book here. It is a condition with which one has to deal through therapy and anxiety-reducing exorcises. It is not particularly interesting. It is certainly not funny. There is nothing glamorous or theatrical about it.

Uh, oh. The Good Cop / Bad Cop: A toy w/ DID The Lego Movie Phil Lord & Christopher Miller, 2014

Uh, oh. The Good Cop / Bad Cop: A toy w/ DID
The Lego Movie
Phil Lord & Christopher Miller, 2014

The truth is that most women dealing with DID will not realize that they even have a problem until into their late 20’s to mid 30’s. For men it is usually not until their late 30’s upward to their early 50’s before they fully notice that there is a problem. As strange as it sounds, the power of a mind that copes a person out of grim experiences so that she/he can survive is extremely skilled at getting that person through whatever challenges may or may not get in the way. The concept of an alternate personality is normally so nuanced that the individual and those near him/her will never notice. Nor will the individual. Time is lost, but the individual being protected in this manner by their subconscious will usually not notice. Or, as in my case, never really consciously note it.

While not altogether "untrue," United States of Tara is a very exaggerated and unbelievable study of DID. It has value, but the main goal was to entertain.

While not altogether “untrue,” United States of Tara is a very exaggerated and unbelievable study of DID. It has value, but the main goal was to entertain.

DID is tricky and many think that there are more than a few folks walking around out there who do not know they have it — and most likely never will. I wish I were one of those folks.  Surviving can come at a cost. A survivor is tough, but none of us are superheroes. Jessica Jones is an interesting and well crafted empowerment idea, but she is fantasy.

I’ve not fully switched or lost time in over 3 years now. My mastery of coping techniques as tools has improved dramatically. But I’m no Master of Myself. So this morning as the wind howled and the rain poured and I drove toward my destination filled with worry, I was on high alert. When an SUV failed to stop in time at an intersection, it skidded out onto California Street and briefly lost control. I was able to navigate my car out of its way without putting anyone else in danger.

Fictional Satire, Cultural Commentary, Mischief, Mayhem & Soap. Brad Pitt manifests as a fragment of identity bent on rebellion... Fight Club David Fincher, 1999 Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

Fictional Satire, Cultural Commentary, Mischief, Mayhem & Soap. Brad Pitt manifests as a fragment of identity bent on rebellion…
Fight Club
David Fincher, 1999
Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

Success! As the SUV got itself back on track and other drivers honked for no real reason, I pulled my car back into moving action. And then it happened. Familiar voices filled with fear and panic began whispering and speaking all at once. These voice seemed to be coming from the backseat.

I’m not crazy. Actually, I feel I am about as far from crazy as possible. Two years ago this sudden fury of voices from behind me would have freaked me out. But now, I know that there are no hidden passengers in my car. These, you see, are my alters.

I calmly pulled my car over to a safe parking spot. Put the gear into park. Took a deep breath and began utilizing calming techniques to use as tools. It probably took me about thirty minutes, but those voices began to move out of the backseat and into my mouth. I continued to tool away. In approximately ten minutes those voices moved out of my mouth and back into my brain. Then I spoke out loud in a normal tone to calm them (me) down. Within another ten minutes I was ok. I lit up a cig, turned the iPhone to some of my favorite music and just chilled. In all it took about 80 minutes before I was certain I was competent to drive. I turned around and came back home.

Completely spent, head hurting, legs aching — I knew I’d not be venturing back out today. Embarrassed I had to contact my friend/sister and let her know I would not be able to make it downtown. She knows of what I am dealing. She was supportive and kind. She is taking a cab here tonight and we’ll order take-out. But it feels as if I’ve let another person I love down. It sucks.

Identities merge, split, engage and threaten reality beyond recognition. Laura Harring / Naomi Watts Mulholland Drive David Lynch, 2001 Cinematography | Peter Deming

Identities merge, split, engage and threaten reality beyond recognition.
Laura Harring / Naomi Watts
Mulholland Drive
David Lynch, 2001
Cinematography | Peter Deming

Once I master these techniques into better tools, I will not be so exhausted. It might seem strange, but I was not freaked out. This is my current reality. I accept it, but I’m still deeply embarrassed by it. I am ashamed of not only the disorder but the fact that it has created so many phobias with which I have trouble fighting. Making plans to meet up with friends does not usually mean I’ll be able to carry them through. Just this past week there was an event at The Castro Theatre and I was unable to even contemplate attending. A few years back and you would had to fight me to prevent me from attending.

It just sucks.

I’ve not been able to go into a movie cinema since May of this year. A walk into a mall is a true challenge. Visits to the pharmacy, doctor or therapist are tough but I mange to do those. I can go to the grocery store and the local coffee shop without too much worry. However, I need to arrive to the store between 6:45 / 7:00 am to be sure I can do it without having to tool the process. I can do the coffee shop at about any time as long as I know I’m drinking the coffee outside while walking or back in my car. However, meeting up for dinner in a restaurant on a weekend night is almost an impossibility. My friends and family know that if we go out, I usually need to be outside to hang.

This is how my life “works” right now. It will be getting better. I push forward past the fear as best I can, but in the coming year I hope to be a better master of these coping techniques into full-on hardcore tools.  Will I be able to return to full-time and rewarding employment? I have no idea.

Submerged, floating and ready to explore himself inside out to through to the core of earthly identity. William Hurt Altered States Ken Russell, 1980 Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

Submerged, floating and ready to explore himself inside out to through to the core of earthly identity.
William Hurt
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980
Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

At the moment the bigger picture must be pushed aside until the daily challenges are met. Currently, my main focus is on gaining better access to coping techniques. Upcoming plans involve visiting in-laws in Canada, a  nephew on The Cape and a soon to be born nephew in NYC. All of which involve getting on crowded planes and being in crowded social situations. All of these upcoming visits are very important to me, but sometimes it is hard to view things as positive when I feel so threatened by the challenges involved.

"I like myself" Edward Norton Fight Club David Fincher, 1999 Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

“I like myself”
Edward Norton
Fight Club
David Fincher, 1999
Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

When I watch David Lynch’s Inland Empire or Mulholland Drive it is hard not to relate on some level to the plight of his heroines. An actress seemingly forever lost within her own identity and that of her roles. Which of her selves are real and which have been co-created for art? Which actress gets the part and which faces a tragic end? Or are they stuck in some cerebral horror logic that runs forever in circles? With each viewing of these two films I walk away with some new layer of meaning that confounds back to the meaning’s source. Mr. Lynch’s magical cinematic slight of hand.

Chuck Palahniuk’s novel, Fight Club, was a fascinating read into confused ideas around masculinity, friendship, love and life as we moved toward the 21st Century. All of the ideas and concepts literally fighting each other till the book’s end. David Fincher’s film adaptation took that novel of societal commentary and crafted a darkly comical and satirical view of an identity crisis that grows to fantastical and horrifying size.

Our Narrator attempts to calm and talk some since into his alter-hero who upends not only his world but possibly that of his culture. Brad Pitt / Edward Norton Fight Club David Fincher, 1999 Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

Our Narrator attempts to calm and talk some since into his alter-hero who upends not only his world but possibly that of his culture.
Brad Pitt / Edward Norton
Fight Club
David Fincher, 1999
Cinematography | Jeff Cronenweth

Like the novel, the film has bite. Unlike the novel, it pulsates into our mind as we watch a sort of white “Every Man” who can only accept himself by beating his damaged shell to a pulp of absolute submission and non-existence. Unrestrained, Absurdist by way of Surrealism gets a glam and bloody reboot in David Fincher’s 1999 Cult Film. This is a movie that amuses and amazes me every time I see it.

Another movie that has always fascinated me is Ken Russell’s final box office hit, Altered States. I suppose in reality it was more of a sleeper hit, but it was discussed and beloved by a Sci-Fi / Fantasy audiences that wanted a bit more for their money. Our Uncle Ken Russell had no idea what was in store for him when he accepted this American Film Studio “Job.” There is no question of Paddy Chayefsky’s talent, but his script’s goal was all but lost amidst some of the most laughable and intricate film dialogue ever put to page. Russell was intrigued by the philosophical ideas around identity and self-understanding via organic means, but how does one get to the meat of the film when bombarded by so much inexplicable intellectualized discussion? Ever innovative, Ken Russell instructed his profound Master Class Film Actors to speak their lines at top-notch speeds. William Hurt, Blair Brown, Bob Balaban and Charles Haid speak at a speed which almost seems to reach that of light itself. It works.

Dr. Jessup likes what he sees. At first, anyway. William Hurt Altered States Ken Russell, 1980 Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

Dr. Jessup likes what he sees. At first, anyway.
William Hurt
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980
Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

The script’s dialogue could not be changed, but it was delivered with fast and masterful precession. But the winning card for Altered States is the fact that no one can deliver images to challenge notions of the human senses better than Ken Russell. Altered States soars when Russell is allowed to plunge the camera into Dr. Jessup‘s mind’s eye. At times stunningly beautiful, always symbolic to the concepts of The Human Condition, consistently horrific and magically tilting toward something beyond understanding — Ken Russell understood this film far better than the artist who wrote it.

One of many modern human symbols stretches, morphed and careening within the human psyche. Altered States Ken Russell, 1980 Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

One of many modern human symbols stretches, morphed and careening within the human psyche.
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980
Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

Russell has no problem with the movie monster trope that Chayefsky ties to the Evolution Of Man, but he was far more interested in how that evolution has impacted not only our identities but our relationship to the present. Always at some sort of odds within itself, Altered States is entertaining and far more relevant than many care to admit. It is also is a very interesting bit of twisted cerebral fun. Ken Russell seems to be hiding just out of frame with his middle finger firmly up toward the overt intellectual spasms with which he had no choice but to work. Rebellious, but dead-on to the film’s core meaning.

Fears, symbology mix with neuro / intellectual impulses. Altered States Ken Russell, 1980 Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

Fears, symbology mix with neuro / intellectual impulses.
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980
Cinematography | Jordan Cronenweth

David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive is a Surreal Neo-Noir nightmare. A perverse fantasy of dreams tossed from both the dizzying heights of movie stardom and the Lower than Low of the Hollywood outcast. In Hollywood, nothing is more horrifying than failure. There are two girls here. One of them is a Movie Star and the other a Failed Wanna-Be. But which girl is which?

There is a mysterious blue box and a blue key that promises to unlock its secrets. However one is not likely to resolve the film’s essential mystery of who is who.

I’ve never believed that was the point. The point is that when it comes to the pursuit of dreams, love and the resulting guilt — there is often no where left to go but to retreat into the circular horror of a fragmented identity.

The key to the box... Mulholland Drive David Lynch, 2001 Cinematography | Peter Deming

The key to the box…
Mulholland Drive
David Lynch, 2001
Cinematography | Peter Deming

This may be your film, but two things are most certainly true: This is the girl and This is not the girl.

Which girl is real? When you go this far for meaningless dreams and love as bitter as it is sweet, it really doesn’t matter.

Then we have Guy Maddin’s under appreciated brilliant experimental film, Keyhole. In an attempt to escape arrest, a gangster holds up in an old home with a mysterious hostage. Surrounded by police and with an unwilling hostage, the gangster, Ulysses Pick, soon finds himself wandering through the decaying house’s many corridors, rooms and memories. Is it ghosts who threaten his sanity? Not likely.

Looking for understanding... Jason Patric Keyhole Guy Maddin, 2011 Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

Looking for understanding…
Jason Patric
Keyhole
Guy Maddin, 2011
Cinematography | Benjamin Kasulke

The biggest threat in this decaying old house is our protagonists’ own identity. First as voyeur, then curious and finally desperate — Ulysses begins to interact with a troubled childhood, past crimes, buried love, guild and ultimately facing the truth of his mother. Splintered, confused, sad and spent — Maddin’s Ulysses is trapped within the fragmented and often disjointed aspects of himself.

A ghost isn't nothing, but it also isn't everything... Keyhole Guy Maddin, 2011

A ghost isn’t nothing, but it also isn’t everything…
Keyhole
Guy Maddin, 2011

Like a perverse fable, he must stand in judgement. A judgement not to be delivered by ghosts or memories. A judgement issued from deep within the unknown self.

So while I do like to get lost in this dark, experimental, intelligent and surreal worlds that explore complex ideas around “identity” — I also gain break from the reality of actually sorting through my personal issues to regain the ability to function. There are a vast number of strange films dealing with identity. From the heights of Art House Cinema with Repulsion, Belle de Jour, 3 Women and Persona to the obscurity of films like Simon Killer, Bellflower, Hesher, Bullhead, Reality, Institute Benjamenta, Brazil or Performance. 

The subject is himself, but the exploration takes him far deeper. Altered States Ken Russell, 1980

The subject is himself, but the exploration takes him far deeper.
Altered States
Ken Russell, 1980

The question and exploration of identity and its meanings are limitless and often limiting.

Matty Stanfield, 12.13.2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently I saw Belinda Sallin’s documentary, Dark Star: H.R. Giger’s World. An art gallery curator spoke regarding the therapeutic healing aspects of Giger’s work.  He commented that many artists deal with the darker aspects of human experience and survival by diving deep into the damage of human suffering to find the “voice” and “inspiration” for art but then re-emerge to take a break from all of the darkness. The curator then stated a fundamental in understanding the late H.R. Giger, H.R. Giger dove down deep and stayed there. Whatever childhood or personal traumas this man endured — he opted to find a way to be comfortable in the darkness and pain. This is one of the reasons his art speaks to so many people on such a profound level.

Art Therapy Dark Star: H.R. Giger's World Belinda Sallin | 2014 Eric Stitzel | Cinematography

Art Therapy
Dark Star: H.R. Giger’s World
Belinda Sallin | 2014
Eric Stitzel | Cinematography

I saw this film out of curiosity of the way Sallin and her Cinematographer, Eric Stitzel, had reportedly approached the artist and his home. It was a rewarding cinematic experience. It also gave me pause to look at the often disturbing sexualized themes of Giger’s art.

Debbie Harry KooKoo, 1981 Photograph | Brian Aris Art/Design | H.R. Giger

Debbie Harry
KooKoo, 1981
Photograph | Brian Aris
Art/Design | H.R. Giger

What had often struck me as phantasmagorical exploration into BDSM / KINK erotica, was actually offering a great deal more to his ardent followers. H.R. Giger’s dark work served not only as his personal art therapy, but offered the same release to viewers. So much so that an entire subculture of artistic and marginalized people have taken these works to form detailed maps tattooed all over their bodies.

Art speaks to us. Sometimes it is there to only allow an escape. Other times it is a form of magical pleasure. This is especially true of Film Art and Music. The Sound of Music has held generations of people within its sway. The same is certainly even more true of Star Wars or the television series, Star Trek.

Just the sight of the iconic graphic logo sets millions of hearts and brains' a-flutter.

Just the sight of the iconic graphic logo sets millions of hearts and brains’ a-flutter.

As for music, a song can bring us back to the happiest moments of our lives and the saddest. There are more than a few generations of people who think of songs as Anthems. A sort of collective “call to arms” on the fields of sport or in pursuit of summer fun. This of course is the power of art. No matter how “lofty” or “petty” the concerns of the artists, the work that results impacts in various and powerful ways.

In 2009, I was diagnosed with D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder). The diagnosis was horrifying to me. It would take me about two and a half years before I could fully “own” this disorder.

"Scary monsters, super creeps. Keep me running, running scared..." David Bowie Scary Monsters and Super Creeps | 1980 Photography | Brian Duffy Painting /Art Direction | Edward Bell

“Scary monsters, super creeps. Keep me running, running scared…”
David Bowie
Scary Monsters and Super Creeps | 1980
Photography | Brian Duffy
Painting /Art Direction | Edward Bell

However, as shocking as this diagnosis was, it did make sense. I had been “losing time” for almost a year. I would be sitting some place and then find myself in another with no clue as to how or why.

Most scary was finding myself in places that I did not know. I did not yet have a smart phone to help me determine where I was. I was convinced I had a brain tumor.

After visits to numerous specialists to clear me of any physiological issues, it came down to psychologists and psychiatrists.

After 18 months and four psychiatric professionals who consulted with each other, it was determined that I was “lucky.” After several years of repeated and nightmarish childhood sexual assault, my mind had developed a way of surviving it.

Roger Daltrey is "blind, deaf and dumb"  Tommy Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

Roger Daltrey
is “blind, deaf and dumb”
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush

The subconscious took over and created tiny spaces in which to place the seeming “unsurvivable” emotions and pain. As I entered adulthood these fragments within my brain remained somehow active.

What were once my mind’s coping strategies morphed into oddly functional capacities. One of the reasons I had so much trouble in accepting the diagnosis of D.I.D. was that I had no problem remembering what had happened to me. In fact, I remembered everything with almost detailed precision.

"Ain't got no distractions Can't hear no buzzers and bells. Don't see no lights a-flashin' Plays by sense of smell. Always gets a replay, Never seen him fall.." The Who and Elton John Tommy Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

“Ain’t got no distractions
Can’t hear no buzzers and bells. Don’t see no lights a-flashin’ Plays by sense of smell. Always gets a replay, Never seen him fall..”
The Who and Elton John
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush

After intense therapy I began to realize that there were entire blocks of time over the course of my life from the age of 9 to 38 of which I had no memory.

Having been an exhaustive journaler from way back, I spent a couple of months sorting through them.

Pages had been ripped out or “detracted” by self-imposed scribbles to prevent me from reading what I had been up to.

Suddenly it all begin to make sense.

The Who Tommy | 1969 Full Gate Sleeve Art | Michael McInnerney

The Who
Tommy | 1969
Full Gate Sleeve
Art | Michael McInnerney

Aside from the fact that I had to quit and walk away from a highly successful professional life and face life in the “fun world of Disability” I had to come to understand the odd way in which my mind helped me to succeed where many would have failed.

The sad fact of D.I.D. is that sooner or later the coping strategies backfire. Instead of assisting the individual, they start to turn against the goals of the owner.

"Gather your wits and hold on fast, Your mind must learn to roam. Just as the Gypsy Queen must do You're gonna hit the road..." Tina Turner as The Acid Queen Tommy Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

“Gather your wits and hold on fast, Your mind must learn to roam.
Just as the Gypsy Queen must do You’re gonna hit the road…”
Tina Turner as The Acid Queen
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush

For women this tends to happen sooner in life. For men, it appears the strange functioning powers hold off giving-out later in life. So it was as I entered my 40’s that I could no longer succeed in the line of work or any level of employment that required active thought and responsibility. This may change in the future, but for now I am told that I need to “re-adjust” my life goals. For now, I need to think about a life without a traditional career.

I could go on and on — and, in fact, I have written a great deal about this struggle. The point of this blog entry is to discuss how Film and Music Art have helped me all of my life.

Lost within his mind... The Who  Tommy | 1969 Photography | Barrie Meller

Lost within his mind…
The Who
Tommy | 1969
Photography | Barrie Meller

Much like H.R. Giger and has fans, darkness in art is often a forgiving and cathartic place for me to seek refuge. Unlike Giger and many of his fans, it is not a place in which I can stay for too long. I have to “escape” all of it. But I cannot stay away for too long. There is a healing to be found in both the world of darker art and certain levels of escape art.

Pink Floyd  The Wall | 1979 Inside Full Gate Fold Art Direction | Roger Waters Art | Gerald Scarfe

Pink Floyd
The Wall | 1979
Inside Full Gate Fold
Art Direction | Roger Waters
Art | Gerald Scarfe

As a child I was utterly consumed with fascination regarding the music and film world. Rather than attempt to “restate” myself regarding these Artists and their work I will simply mention them and include some images. You can draw your own conclusions. Maybe a few of you will even relate or connect to a different (I hope!) but similar way.

What's Up Doc? Barbra Streisand / Ryan O'Neal Peter Bogdanovich | 1972

What’s Up Doc?
Barbra Streisand / Ryan O’Neal
Peter Bogdanovich | 1972

I was four years old when my parents decided to take me to see a “re-issue” of Bambi. The cinema was sold out. So they opted for us to see What’s Up Doc?

I was too young to find the movie funny or interesting. However, I recall something very vivid about the experience of seeing Peter Bogdanovich’s classic film: This different looking lady was laying on top of a grand piano. She started to sing, “You must remember this…

Barbra Streisand What's Up Doc? Photograph | Steve Schapiro, 1971

Barbra Streisand
What’s Up Doc?
Photograph | Steve Schapiro, 1971

and my four year old ears and eyes were forever changed. Something in this lady’s voice grabbed hold of me and never let go.

After the movie I demanded to know who this lady was.

I believe it was my father who told me she was a singer.

I demanded that we cross the busy street to K-Mart so I could get the What’s Up Doc? record. There was no such thing. But I think my demand was puzzling enough for my parents to follow it. I selected my first record album based on the fact that the cover was of a child who seemed close to my own age.

Barbra Streisand My Name Is Barbra | 1965

Barbra Streisand
My Name Is Barbra | 1965

I would go on to play this album so much that I swear you could hold it up and see through the vinyl. I listened to Barbra Streisand constantly. Over the years her voice became my equal to chicken soup.

I was 8 when I discovered The Who and Ken Russell’s Tommy. Both the 1969 album and the 1975 movie.

Your senses will never be the same... Tommy Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

Your senses will never be the same…
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush

The connection to this film and The Who album seem almost painfully obvious with hindsight. 

"You didn't hear it. You didn't see it. You won't say nothing to no one. Never in your life. You never heard it, Oh, how absurd it all seems without any proof." Ann-Margret, Oliver Reed, Jack Nicholson Tommy Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

“You didn’t hear it. You didn’t see it. You won’t say nothing to no one. Never in your life. You never heard it, Oh, how absurd it all seems without any proof.”
Ann-Margret, Oliver Reed, Jack Nicholson
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush

It would not be long before I found a powerful level of escape from weed and downers. (Valium was my particular favorite) But music and most especially Film Art formed into a core of my being. While most of my friends were obsessed with Welcome Back Kotter and Happy Days, I was consumed with Ken Russell’s rock opera film and Streisand’s rock-pop remake.

A Star Is Born Barbra Streisand / Kris Kristofferson  1976

A Star Is Born
Barbra Streisand / Kris Kristofferson
1976

As I am unable to legally work, I have found creative entry ways into helping re-discover work and artists that matter to me. Aside from filing my time, it has led to some unexpected connections and a sometimes exciting background “roles” in helping to get films restored and re-issued.

Sometimes my assistance leads to nowhere. Other times it helps.

I’m not an artist.

I’m not paid.

But my voice is now heard in surprising new ways.

Lisztomania Ken Russell | 1975

Lisztomania
Ken Russell | 1975

D.I.D does not get in my way the way it used to. Right now the main challenges are defeating phobias and odd thought processing. 

And, no. My life is nothing near nor has it ever been remotely like the depictions of the disorder seen on television or movies. I don’t change clothes and personas.

Actually, it is so nuanced that few ever noticed.

"Let me take you to the movies..." Led Zeppelin  Physical Graffiti | 1975 Art Direction / Design: Peter Corriston, Mike Doud & Elliot Erwitt

“Let me take you to the movies…”
Led Zeppelin
Physical Graffiti | 1975
Art Direction / Design:
Peter Corriston, Mike Doud & Elliot Erwitt

There was a period of about 4 years where it would sometimes be clear to others that something wasn’t quite “right” but for the most part it has never been easily spotted.

And I’m very relieved to say that I have not “lost time” in over 3 years now.

The challenges now seem to creep up in phobias, self-doubt and often inabilities related to concentration. Sometimes letters re-arrange as I write or read.

That is when it is time to stop and just lose myself — in Art.

Shades of and introduction to Arthur Rimbaud & Rebellion Patti Smith Horses | 1975 Photograph | Robert Mapplethorpe

Shades of and introduction to Arthur Rimbaud & Rebellion
Patti Smith
Horses | 1975
Photograph | Robert Mapplethorpe

Art that seems to speak to struggles, fears, reality, surrealism and ideas 

"Well, it sure don't look like Texas." 3 Women Robert Altman | 1977 Cinematography | Charles Rosher Jr.

“Well, it sure don’t look like Texas.”
3 Women
Robert Altman | 1977
Cinematography | Charles Rosher Jr.

that seem to have the ability into which I can escape. 

"Oh, you are sick!" Eraserhead David Lynch | 1977

“Oh, you are sick!”
Eraserhead
David Lynch | 1977

…And, to heal the broken.

Matty Stanfield, 8.25.2015

break the idol... Tommy  Ken Russell | 1975 Cinematography | Dick Bush

break the idol…
Tommy
Ken Russell | 1975
Cinematography | Dick Bush